Tales from the Crib

2012-02-21T10:57:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago, I received a comment on one of my blogs where a mother mentioned that a serious issue that our kids face today is the constant exposure to the occult. She specifically mentioned the popularity of the Twilight movies and how even many Christian families have gotten caught up in this new trend. Her comments have inspired this week’s blog on keeping your children away from the occult.

Most of us have noticed the dramatically growing popularity of movies, television shows, video games and books involving vampires, werewolves, witches and wizards. Obviously the occult is nothing new and has been around for thousands of years. Satan is very clever and much of his power comes from convincing us to follow our own sinful desires and curiosities. For many people the draw to the occult is hard to resist. For some the idea of being able to communicate with a loved one who has passed away can start a path down a dangerous road. For others the occult gives them a sense of power. Still others have the idea that the occult does not exist or many occult figures are just make believe, so there is no reason to be concerned. As Christian parents we have plenty to be concerned about when it comes to the constant barrage by occult influences. 1 Peter 5:8 states: Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

Seven years ago my daughter was attending K4 at a Christian school when she told me that one of her classmates had said that she wanted to be a witch when she grew up. Fascia was very disturbed by this statement and so was I. I went privately to Fascia’s teacher to let her know that the conversation had taken place because I thought that she might want to talk to the girl’s parents about it. Fascia’s teacher basically said that the girl was parked in front of the TV most of the time and she probably got the idea from some show. I wondered what kind of show a 4 year old would see that would make her believe that being a witch was something to aspire to.

The first Harry Potter book came out in 1997 and the first movie came out in 2001. As of 2011 this book series had sold 450 million copies making it the best-selling book series of all time. This series was one of the first popular series that portrayed wizards as heroes and role models for young children. When the movies first came out, I met many Christians who adamantly defended the Harry Potter series saying that it was fun and that many movies and books have witches or wizards in them. While it is true that wizards and witches have often played a part in movies and books, in the past most of them were shown to be villains, not heroes, and, therefore, were not role models for kids. Interestingly, when the last Harry Potter movie came out I read a review by a non-Christian mom who said that she would not allow her 7 year old son to see it. She said that the messages in the movies had become increasing darker as the series went on and that the last movie was much too scary for a young child to see.

In 2005 the first Twilight series book was published with books in the series being published every year through 2009. The first book in the series was named “The Best Children’s Book of 2005” by Publishers Weekly. Each book has enjoyed huge success, and the first film version was produced in 2008 grossing 392 million dollars world-wide.

From October of 2007 to January of 2012 Disney Channel produced the show “Wizards of Waverly Place.” This show featured three wizard siblings who battled to earn the position of the family wizard. In this series the “good wizards” often battled bad werewolves, wizards, aliens and angels. The wizard teenagers were portrayed as role models for young kids, tweens and teens. Sadly, this series was the longest running Disney Channel show ever. The show won numerous awards including two “Outstanding Children’s Program” awards in 2009 and 2010. In addition, the season finale had an audience of 10 million viewers.

These examples prove that just in the past 7 years there has been a tremendous acceptance by the general public that occult-like figures are exciting, fun, good role models and even romantic. Even more startling this new trend is directly aimed at young children, tweens and teens. This is something that we have not seen in such full force in the past. In 2012 we are seeing more and more occult movies, TV shows, books, and games aimed at children, tweens, and teens. A couple of recent examples are Disney Channel’s “My Babysitter is a Vampire” and ABC Family’s “Secret Circle.”

With all of the increasing pressure toward the occult, the serious question is how do we, as Christian parents, shield our children from these dangerous influences. James 4:7 states “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” The key to protecting your children from the occult is teaching them to resist it at all costs. In order to accomplish this we need to start by constantly teaching our children that there is no form of the occult that is harmless or fun. Even among Christian families many have fallen prey to the deceitful belief that just because there are no such things as vampires, werewolves, or ghosts that these concepts are somehow harmless. Just because these exact entities may not exist does not negate the fact that demonic entities do exist and can take on practically any form. When people go out seeking or opening up to any demonic entity they are likely to find it. Horror stories of children playing with Ouija boards are certainly proof of this.

If you are a parent of small children teaching them to resist the occult is relatively simple. Young children have a built in spiritual instinct which automatically repels them from anything scary. This is a form of instinctual fear which young children are generally more in-tune to. As we get older we tend to condition ourselves to ignore instinctual fear as we think that it shows weakness or immaturity. We are actually just hardening our own spirits. The best way to protect your child from the occult is to teach them to always be sensitive to the signals of their spirit. When your child is still too young to understand that God uses the Holy Spirit to signal your spirit when something is wrong, they are also still young enough to have a strong automatic response to anything that is spiritually negative. For example, my 3 year old son has never been allowed to watch anything with ghosts, skeletons, witches, etc. One day he was watching an episode of the Backyardigans, and it had a part in it with a ghost. Immediately, Josiah came into the kitchen and told me that the show was scary. I was thinking “What could possibly be scary about the Backyardigans” but I went with him to check. When I saw this episode had a part about a ghost I immediately turned the episode off and told Josiah that “he was a very good boy to tell mommy that something scary was on TV. I was proud of him for not watching it.” When a child has this kind of response it is sometimes our reaction to try to tell them not to be afraid or to give too much explanation, but that is not usually the best response. This is a child’s way of “resisting the devil” by listening to his or her spirit. You need to reinforce their response immediately and remove whatever is causing the reaction no matter how silly it may seem. This simple step will help your child learn to self-regulate when you are not present to do so for them.

Next week: Protecting Older Children from the Occult

Victoria McClelland is a homeschooling mother raising her family in Dallas, Texas. For more information, including contact information about having Victoria speak at an event, visit http://www.frontier2000.net or like us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup.

A True Love Story

2012-02-14T08:23:00.000-08:00

I have always been a hopeless romantic. From the time I was a very small child I was a big fan of the Disney princess movies. I loved singing songs like “Someday My Prince Will Come” and day dreaming about the day when my prince would sweep me off my feet. When I was 5 years old, I found a frog in the yard, and I decided to pick it up and give it a kiss. Of course, I was hoping the frog would turn into a prince. I was a little disappointed when the frog just sat there looking at me. Later that day I told mother what I had done. Her question to me was “What would you have done if the frog had turned into a prince?” I responded “I would have kissed him again and turned him back into a frog.” Although my first attempt at finding my true love was not very successful, I was not deterred from believing that someday my prince would, indeed, come.

When we were children, my parents told us we were not allowed to date until we were 18. Their reason for doing so was that they felt that the purpose of dating was to find a suitable Christian mate. Since one cannot get married until they are at least 18, my parents felt there was not much point in dating until we were actually at an age when we could start finding a suitable spouse. They always told us that God had created one special mate that would be the perfect person for us. They also told us we should pray for that person daily and wait on the Lord to provide that person when the right time came. At 8 years old I decided to start praying every night for the man God had created for me. I prayed that God would take care of and protect the man He had created for me. I also prayed that he would be a man who would love God first with all of his heart and me second. I prayed that God would send him to me at the right time and that when I met him I would know immediately that he was the right person and so would my family. I prayed this prayer every night after settling into bed and often fell asleep praying for my future husband.

When I got a little older, my parents began teaching us that any type of sexual activity was reserved for marriage. They felt that the best way for a young person to stay pure for their future spouse was to create a high standard which would keep us from putting ourselves into a potentially compromising situation. We were taught that we should never be alone with a member of the opposite sex and we should save kissing for marriage. Because I grew up with these guidelines, I determined early on that sex was a very special part of God’s plan for us and that it was a gift that should be protected and saved for the special person that He had for me.

When I was sixteen, I had an opportunity to attend one of the first “True Love Waits” conferences in existence. At the end of the conference teens were given the opportunity to sign a pledge to purity. This pledge read:

Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate, and my future children to a lifetime of purity including sexual abstinence from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship.

Since sexual purity was something I had committed to long before I was sixteen, I was excited to have an opportunity to join with other teens and attend the workshops, sign the pledge and receive my purity ring at the ceremony. Even though I had made this decision in my own heart many years before, the experience made a great impact and further cemented the decision in my own heart. Anytime I felt tempted to abandon my pledge I could look at my ring and remember my pledge to God, myself, my parents, and my future spouse and children. Thinking of my commitment in this light made me realize that a selfish mistake would cause hurt and disappointment to a lot of people, and it made me even more aware of my decision.

I mentioned earlier that I was not allowed to date until age 18, but when I actually got to that age, I found that did not have the desire to date anyone that I knew. Although I went to church regularly and had a full-time job at Sam’s Club, I did not know anyone that I felt would make a suitable mate. Therefore, I did not date anyone. I suppose most people I worked with thought that I was rather peculiar. First, at 18 I wore a purity ring, and that brought on a lot of questions. When some of the girls I worked with started to ask me about it, they very quickly spread the word throughout the staff at the store that I was a virgin. Surprisingly, most of the girls actually had a lot of respect for my decision to remain a virgin until marriage. One girl told me that she had never met a young lady my age who was still a virgin, and she thought it was cool. Several of the other girls agreed with her.

Some of the guys at work gave me a hard time about it, but most said nothing. One guy made it his mission to convince me that sex outside of marriage was a good thing. One day he actually told me, “You need to have a good sexual experience before you go on a date with a guy who won’t take no for an answer, and then you will have a terrible experience and think that all sex is bad.”

My response to him was, “That is not going to happen, and don’t ever say anything like that to me again.” That pretty much ended the sexual debate. For the most part I found that my purity pledge made things easier as it put my beliefs right out front so there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings later.

When I was 20 years old, I walked into church one Sunday morning in October and saw the most handsome and captivating man I had ever seen sitting about 5 pews ahead of me. I often was required to work on Sunday mornings, and this one was no different. I was able to attend the first half of the service but had to slip out to go to work before it was over. Therefore, although I had seen my future husband and experienced “love at first sight” he had not seen me.

The entire day as I worked at Sam’s Club I could not stop thinking about this man I had seen. I wondered what his name was and who he was. I even stopped myself at one point and thought, “What is wrong with me, why can’t I stop thinking about this man. I don’t know anything about him?” I actually forced myself to not think about him for the rest of the day.

That evening when I came home around 6:30 p.m. everyone in my family was talking about him. My younger brother Benjamin told me that he had talked to Jeremy and invited him to a football game. Ben said, “I checked him out for you and I think he would be perfect for you.” I was shocked as I had not mentioned to anyone that I had even seen Jeremy at church that morning.

I was concerned that Jeremy might not return to the church for another Sunday as it was a very small church and had very few young people. Most young adults who visited the Baptist church of about 50 people did not return when they realized that there were very few people their age. As it turned out, Jeremy and his friend had come to visit the church due to the fact that our pastor was Jeremy’s former youth pastor. Jeremy had decided to attend the church to support his mentor and friend.

The next Sunday, I was scheduled off from work so I decided that it would be a good time to meet Jeremy if he were to attend again. That Sunday morning I had the opportunity to meet Jeremy during the greeting time at church and he experienced his “love at first sight” moment as well. I invited him to a Sunday evening event and he agreed. For the next three weeks we saw each other very little. I was working a lot and was not able to attend the regular Sunday morning services. One Sunday night my brother Ben called me and told me that he and another brother Israel were going to pick me up and take me to dinner at a pizza place. He then added that our pastor, Jeremy, and his friend Rick would also be attending the dinner. I happily accepted the invitation. At the end of the evening Jeremy asked me if it would be alright if he took me to lunch one day, I said, “Sure, what day?” That was the beginning of our courtship.

Jeremy and I spent every possible moment together or on the phone with each other over the following three weeks. Jeremy was working two jobs and attending college, and I was busy with work as well. As a result, we had to spend less traditional time together in order to see each other. Jeremy would often pick me up after work, we would go eat a quick dinner and then I would attend his evening college classes with him. After class we would go to my home where we would spend the rest of the evening watching TV or talking with my family. During this time I remained true to my purity plan. 1. Never be alone with Jeremy in a private setting. The only time we were alone was while we were driving from one public place to another. 2. No sexual activity whatsoever, not even kissing. On our second date I went over my ground rules with Jeremy to get them out in the open. I figured that it would be better to lay out the limits beforehand and risk rejection than to wait and risk a potentially embarrassing and possibly compromising situation in the future. Jeremy had no problem adhering to these rules so we didn’t have a problem.

A couple of weeks after we started dating my mother came to me and said “Very soon Jeremy is going to ask you to marry him. If you want to marry him, you need to say yes or he might not ask you again.” I wasn’t sure what to think of that because I did not expect Jeremy to propose anytime soon. However, when my mother makes a statement like that it is always accurate. I started to think over and pray over what she said. A week later Jeremy and I were on a date and we were walking around a plaza in old town when Jeremy said “I have the money saved up to pay off my car, but I am thinking about using it to buy you a ring instead.” I just listened and didn’t say much other than, “Really?” He then went on to ask a series of questions such as “So, what kind of wedding do you want and how many people do you want to invite?” Being a direct person I stopped and turned to him and said, “Are you asking me to marry you?” He said “Yes, but unofficially because I want to get you a ring first and ask your parents for permission.” I said, “Then unofficially I am saying yes.”

A few days later Jeremy went shopping for a ring and set up a meeting with my parents to ask for my hand in marriage. Even though we had only been dating for three weeks both of my parents were in agreement. God had already shown both of my parents in separate ways that Jeremy was the man He had created for me. Jeremy’s parents were also supportive of the marriage even though Jeremy had announced a few months before we met that he was never going to get married. That same evening Jeremy proposed to me, and I could not have been happier to accept.

On December 23^rd, 1996, only 2 months after we started dating, Jeremy and I were married in a tiny but beautiful ceremony in the Baptist church where we met. It was as magical as any fairy tale that Walt Disney could come up with, and incredibly special because when the pastor announced, “You may kiss the bride,” it was my very first kiss. I wore my purity ring until our wedding night when my husband took it off my finger, and it was a most precious moment that I will always remember.

Twelve years after I started praying for God to send me the man that He created for me in His time, I was blessed with a handsome, kind and loving Christian husband who loved God first and me second—a man whom everyone knew was the one God had created for me. Fifteen years later I can honestly say he was and is everything that I dreamed he would be, and he was definitely worth waiting for.

True Love Will Wait: But Talking About It Won’t

2012-02-07T08:35:00.000-08:00

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

A few weeks ago my daughter, Fascia, was on break during a volleyball tournament when one of her teammates noticed a mark on her finger where her ring had been. The girls are not allowed to wear any type of jewelry at tournaments or practices; therefore, Fascia always has to remove her ring before any volleyball activities. Her 12-year-old teammate asked Fascia if she had been wearing a ring. Fascia replied, “Yes, I was wearing my purity ring.” Fascia’s teammate looked at her with a puzzled expression so Fascia said, “You probably don’t know what that is?”

The girl replied, “I know what that is. Who are you trying to stay away from?”

Fascia smiled sweetly and replied, “I’m just trying to stay away from everyone.”

Clearly, Fascia’s teammate had completely missed the point of a purity ring. She had the idea that the purpose of a purity ring is to ward off undesirables, instead of symbolizing a decision to keep yourself pure in mind, body and spirit. Fascia has had several people comment on her purity ring in the past but most just ask if it is a purity ring or a promise ring and say, “HUH.”

Fascia is only 10 years old, and she may seem young to wear a purity ring, but she has already experienced sexual pressure even at her tender age. She has been wearing her purity ring since she was 8, as that was the age at which she asked me if she could get one. I, too, had a purity ring before I got married. Fascia knew that it was a representation of keeping yourself pure in accordance with God’s will, and she asked me to buy her one too.

I told her that the ring represents behaving in a way that honors God and waiting for the man God has for her someday. At her age, however, it just meant no kissing and no boyfriends. Fascia knows that God has created a wonderful Christian man whom He will bring to her some day, and she needs to pray for God to send him to her when she is grown and it is the right time. The ring is a way of remembering to be a person who will honor her future husband, God, and herself.

Although Fascia did not know what sex was at 8, she had already experienced her share of sexual pressure. She knew about kids kissing and having “girlfriends” and “boyfriends” as young as 5 or 6 years old. In fact, Fascia attended two different private Christian schools from K4-2nd grade and I was stunned at the sexual pressure that was present at such a young age. Once when she was in K4, Fascia was waiting for me to pick her up. I was about 10 minutes late, so she was waiting in the cafeteria where she and other classmates were supposed to be supervised by a teacher until their parents arrived. Fascia told me later that a group of 10 year old girls were telling her and another 4 year old classmate to kiss each other. She told me, “We kept saying no, we didn’t want to.” I went immediately to the Preschool Director to complain, and she promised to take care of the situation.

For K5 we decided to move Fascia to a smaller Christian school where we thought that she would receive better supervision. Unfortunately, by 1st grade the girls were already trying to pair up with boys in their class and would say that certain boys were their “boyfriends.” Fascia even told me that girls would tell her that they did not like her and didn’t want to be her friend because the boys in the class thought she was pretty. By the end of second grade my husband and I made the decision to start homeschooling in order to protect Fascia from the sexual pressures and dangers in school.

Surprisingly, many parents actually encourage their children to have relationships at startlingly young ages. Last Valentine’s Day a church/work associate of mine was proud of how she was taking her sons (ages 6 and 11) on a “Valentine’s date with their girlfriends from school.”

Sexual pressure is obviously not a new thing. The “True Love Waits” program was created in 1987 with their first conference in 1993 to deal with this growing problem in the teen population. In 1995 another abstinence program was developed called the “Silver Ring Thing.” SRT has continued to be strong to this day. This movement popularized wearing an official purity ring (not just a ring that symbolizes your commitment to you but one that serves as a tool to show your commitment to others as well). Since then the popularity of purity rings and jewelry has exploded. Around 2006 the popularity of the purity rings hit a high with many teen Disney channel stars sporting purity rings. The Jonas Brothers were some of the most popular teens to be outspoken about wearing their purity rings. Soon other teen stars started to follow suit. Of course, those who did wear their rings received their share of both support and criticism as they grew older. Nevertheless, it once again brought light to the purity movement and made it “cool” to save yourself for marriage.

Sadly, in 2012 most of the young role models who proudly wore their purity rings have taken them off, leaving young teens and tweens to wonder why. The abstinence education that was federally funded during the Bush administration has been removed from schools and replaced with more graphic forms of sex education. Newer studies starting from 2009 to the current date show that kids as young as 9-11 years old are engaging in sexual activities with kids as young as 12 and 13 engaging in sex with multiple partners.

Society in general has become filled with sexual images in the form of TV shows, movies and books aimed at tweens and teens. I cannot even browse the juvenile fiction section of the public library to find a book appropriate for my daughter to read for a school book report. Nearly every book aimed at kids 10-13 is filled with sex, violence, and deceit. One only needs to watch a series of three commercials on ABC Family to remove any doubt that kids are being pressured sexually. These shows make kids believe that they have to make poor choices to fit in and that everyone is having sex.

All is not lost, however; there are still plenty of good role models left in the world. Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow wears a purity ring and recently inspired a self-proclaimed feminist blogger who is pro-abortion and anti-Christian to write that she has a lot of respect for a man who goes against the usual reputation of football quarterbacks and treats women with respect. She felt joy in seeing his team defeat other teams whose quarterbacks are known for abusing women or being sexually promiscuous.

Actor Nathan Kass (best known as Freddie on the ICarly series) and Jordan Sparks (American Idol) are also proud proponents of abstinence and wear purity rings. God will always raise up godly examples to show us that we are not alone. This is especially important to kids who are more easily swayed by peer pressure. I have always told my children to never idolize people because people are human and will make mistakes. Jesus is the only true role model because He is the only one who will never fail us and will always lead us in the right direction.

We all want to protect our children as long as possible. After all, this is why most of us have chosen to homeschool. Homeschooling does provide a lot of protection for our children in that we can limit with whom they spend time and what outside influences they have. We must remember, however, that God has created our children to be “in the world but not of the world.” That means we have to teach them the right way and allow them to be a light to this fallen world. Our best defense against the lies that Satan promotes about sexuality is to share God’s truth on the matter. Refraining from sexual activity outside of marriage is a form of respect for yourself, God, and the other person.

Valentine’s Day can be a time of extra pressure and confusion for teens and adults alike. If you have teen or tween kids, seriously consider looking up “Silver Ring Thing” or another similar organization and getting them to an event. Even if your kids already have made that decision in their heart, the experience can be an amazing one that will reinforce what they already know, and they can invite a friend.

At age 10 Fascia does know what sex is. She had questions about sex much sooner than I originally expected. At first I was reluctant to talk to her about it, but I soon realized that I was protecting her by teaching her about God’s plan for sexuality instead of allowing the only information on the subject to come from the wrong sources. She knows that it is possible to live a pure life in spite of what the world may say. In a world where good role models are scarce, Fascia is serving as a light to the girls that God has put in her path. I say, “YOU GO GIRL!”

Pure Love

2012-01-31T09:02:00.000-08:00

1 John 4:8 “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

This time of year everywhere you look you see red and pink hearts, various stuffed animals and little cupids. Boxes of chocolates adorn numerous shelves, and the flower shops and card retailers are enjoying their best month of the year. February is here in full bloom, and in a couple of weeks people everywhere will be dropping $100 or more for one night out with that special someone. Valentine’s Day has become a hugely popular holiday. In fact, it is second only to Christmas as far as sales are concerned. Even movie producers recognize the profitability in producing “romantic” movies for just this occasion. For just about everyone, married or single, young or old, February sparks thoughts about love and romance. With all of the commercialism and mixed messages regarding the way love and romance are handled in our society today, however, Valentine’s Day seems to cause additional confusion and tends to make everyone wonder how much emphasis should be put on the subject of love after all.

One of my favorite chapters in the Bible has always been 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 (the love chapter). I find it to be such a wonderful chapter because it describes love completely and perfectly. The first 3 verses outline the importance of possessing the gift of love. No amount of knowledge, spiritual gifts, or works can be offered as a substitute for love.

¹ If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Nothing else that we do in life has any value if we do not have love as the driving force behind it. Why? Because if we do things without love as a motivation, then we must have another driving force that motivates us. If that force is not love, then it must come from some type of self-serving motivation.

The next four verses go on to describe what true love is.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

These verses outline the qualities of pure love. These are qualities that we must strive for constantly and challenge ourselves with daily. Many times in life we find ourselves doing things without love as the true motivation. We may say we are doing things in love and actually believe that we are, but if we are being impatient, unkind, envious, boastful, proud, self-seeking, angry, etc. we, in fact, have our own selfish motivations fueling our actions. Of course, being truly loving on a daily basis is easier said than done, and God knows this, which is why 1 John 4:8 says “God is love.” God is perfect and in His perfection He is the embodiment of love itself. His motivations are always pure and perfect in their nature. Our human nature, unfortunately, points us in the opposite direction. Through our fallen nature we naturally are impatient, unkind, self-serving, boastful and proud, envious, and we keep records of wrongs (vengeful). Only through God’s grace do we have the strength to practice and show love to our family and friends every day. It takes an even larger measure of grace to extend that love to the world around us.

Part of where the confusion about love today comes in is that society teaches us that love is no more than a feeling. We have been taught to believe that the feelings of excitement or exhilaration, butterflies in your stomach, a warm fuzzy feeling or mere attraction are all that comprise love. Sadly, however, too soon those warm fuzzy feelings subside and often people say they have fallen out of love. The scriptures in 1 Corinthians bear out that real love is much more of a choice than a feeling. We teach our children to be kind, humble, patient and unselfish. They must make the choice to be these things, but these attributes are not feelings. There are many times we don’t feel like being patient, kind, or unselfish, but God requires that we choose to do so. In addition, we must make a decision to love others and to keep on loving them even when they are not so lovable.

I remember standing in front of everyone at our wedding 15 years ago. Our pastor said to us that there would come a day or an occasion when the person we were marrying might not seem as lovable or lovely as they did that day. At that point we needed to remember our vows to each other and choose to keep loving one another. At the time, I remember thinking that can’t image that feeling of joy and giddiness ever going away. After 15 years of marriage I can honestly say that there have been times when both of us have been less lovable. Yet, we have prayed for God’s help and chosen to love each other through those times in spite of it all.

Many people will contend that they no longer love their spouses. While I do not doubt that is a true statement, I do know that a feeling does not make up love. You can choose to love your spouse and pray for them while also examining yourself to see what changes you need to make to be more lovable too. Everyone goes through difficult times when loving and being lovable can be a challenge. God can renew your love for one another, and He desires to do so, but it starts with a choice. That choice comes from you. If you pray and pour over these verses and try to follow the outline for pure love that God has given us, you will see that your heart can change. Sometimes that is all that is actually needed.

When my daughter was about 6 years old my husband and I had been through several arguments. I am generally stubborn, so that does not help, and I had been trying to convince my husband to consider having another child. I had been praying a lot that Jeremy would change his mind, but I kept bringing up the subject periodically to see if he had. Whenever Jeremy would say “no” I would get upset and would argue with him about it. One day Fascia heard us arguing about the subject, and afterwards she walked up to me and looked me straight in the eye. She said “Momma, if you don’t stop arguing with Daddy, God is never going to answer your prayers for another baby.” I was shocked at her response and just stared at her for a moment saying nothing. It was like the words came from God’s lips to my ears. I realized right then that she was right. My own stubbornness and disobedience by not honoring my husband’s decision was keeping God from answering my prayers. I decided right then to give the situation to God and allow Him to work it out in His time. Three weeks after Fascia’s seventh birthday I gave birth to her brother Josiah.

This chapter tells us that practicing pure love is the most important thing we can do; it outlines who we need to be in order to practice pure love.

Where Has All The Hope Gone?

2012-01-24T08:01:00.000-08:00

My husband and I were having a discussion the other morning about two young men about 20 years of age who passed away during this past Christmas season. I can only image that having a child pass away before Christmas would be unbelievably painful enough, but to add to the tragedy both of these young men took their own lives. One was a beloved only child who died from an overdose and the other a youngest child from a stable family who committed suicide in the family home. As horrific as both of these cases are, sadly they are not terribly uncommon in today’s world. I have been shocked at the number of news stories that I have seen in the past six months about children as young as 9 to 13 years old taking their own lives. Most of these cases only make the news because of the startling young ages of the victims. The two young men above were not in the news; we came to know about them as their families are a distant part of our circle of friends and family. I personally have not met either family so I do not know whether the parents were aware of what led up to their child’s decision to end their life. I do suspect, however, as is the case in most of the stories I have read about recently, that the parents were caught completely off guard when the event took place. As my husband, Jeremy, and I discussed this new disturbing trend we came to one conclusion. For one reason or another each of these people had lost all hope. Jeremy went on to say that the word hope in today’s world has come to mean something very different from its original meaning. Today hope is a campaign slogan or something like a wish you make when you blow out the birthday candles. There is no true belief, expectation, or substance behind the hope. It has become an empty word.

What exactly does the word hope mean? Webster’s Dictionary defines the word hope as: 1: to desire with expectation of obtainment 2: to expect with confidence: trust. Hope means to expect, to have confidence and to trust. It is not a one-time wish or thought or even a feel good word to be thrown around. It is a belief that is so powerful that one waits in expectation for the day when it will be fulfilled.

According to an online source, the King James Version of the Bible contains 133 instances of the word hope. Hope is used 44 times in the Old Testament and 89 times in the New Testament. Many more people search references to the word faith than hope, but it is not possible to have faith without first having hope. Hope is every bit as powerful and necessary as having faith. Romans 4:18 shows the power of hope; “Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping--believing that he would become the father of many nations. For God had said to him, "That's how many descendants you will have!"

The Bible shows us that hope is essentially the precursor to faith. Hebrews 11:1 states “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” From this verse we can see that faith and hope are interconnected. Romans 8:24 states “For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?” Therefore we can surmise that hope is based on the unseen or, in short, it is based on faith. Our hope has to grow to the point that it becomes faith and then faith will take over.

An example of this in my family came when my daughter Fascia was 4 years old. We were sitting in the living room watching the Olympics when Fascia announced that she wanted to be in the Olympics someday. She started in gymnastics at age 3, and she saw the Olympic gymnasts and decided that she would go to the Olympics when she was older. Fascia spent three years in gymnastics and was very strong and quite good at the parallel bars. She spent hours practicing at home to improve, but she was always very tall for her age and we quickly realized that she was going to be much too tall to be a gymnast. Although Fascia realized that gymnastics was not going to be her Olympic sport she still did not give up her dream of going to the Olympics. She tried swimming and equestrian, and although she enjoyed both recreationally she did not want to do either competitively. When she reached age 7 I decided to start praying that God would show us what area He had gifted her in and open the opportunity for her to do it. I asked Him to reveal the gift He had given her to use all of her life to glorify Him. Six months later through a strange and unexpected string of events Fascia started playing volleyball. It was the one sport she really was not interested in trying at first. As it turned out Fascia is extremely gifted in the sport and has gained the confidence to use her leadership skills. She has been told by coaches that she has the potential to become an Olympic volleyball player in the future. Although she is very talented she has always remained very humble and kind and has used her influence as a leader to encourage and build up others. What started out as a small hope for a little girl developed into a strong faith that God will continue to bless the athletic ability He has given her and help her to use her gifts in the sport to be a witness for Him. She still holds onto the belief that she will be an Olympic athlete when she is older and that God will use it for His glory. She has adopted the verse Philippians 4:13 “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength” as her life verse and looks forward to the day when she can share all that Christ has done for her with the audience of the world.

I have learned from experience that even the small hope of a child that becomes faith is very powerful. Therefore, the real question we need to answer is why have so many children and adults lost all hope? Hope in itself is not the answer unless it is based in something more powerful than ourselves. Too many people have put their hope and trust in things of this world. Jobs, money, people, acceptance etc… have taken the place of the true Giver of life and hope. By removing Christ from our schools, workplaces and politics we have created a world that puts hope in things we can see instead of trusting in things we cannot. When these things seemingly fail we feel hopeless. 1 Corinthians 13:13 explains that only three things will last forever—faith, hope and love. We are to abide in these. Psalm 130:7 states “O Israel, hope in the LORD; for with the LORD there is unfailing love. His redemption overflows.” Today we need to insert the word America in place of Israel and pray that the hopeless children and adults of our land will turn their troubles over to Christ and know that His love will be unfailing and His redemption will overflow for them too.

Victoria McClelland is a homeschooling mother raising her family in Dallas, Texas. For more information, including contact information about having Victoria speak at an event, visit http://www.frontier2000.net or like us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup.

Fear Factor: Faith vs. Fear

2012-01-17T11:54:00.000-08:00

2 Timothy 1:7: For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

In my last blog I wrote about God’s desire for us to have child-like faith. This is a simple faith that is all trusting and all believing, that God is truly willing and able to provide all of our needs. The concept seems simple enough in our heads so why is it so difficult to transfer that information to our hearts? I believe that this is the case because many of us have been blessed with so much that we don’t feel the “need for faith” as much as those less fortunate. Faith in our lives often comes when we feel that we have exhausted all other options. There may be many reasons why faith is a difficult concept for us, but I think most of those reasons are rooted in fear. There are many different fears that we face each day that keep us from faith, these include:

The fear that God will not come through for us.
The fear of what others may think of us.
The fear the fear of failure or rejection.
The fear of persecution in some way.

Fear has definitely always been a problem for mankind. God knows this and that is why the Bible speaks of it so often. The KJV of the Bible contains over 500 references to fear. Some include the words “fear not” or “be not afraid” others speak of the importance of fearing God not man.

The Bible shows us that all fear is not bad. Fearing God in a way of reverence and respect is a good example of good fear. Instinctual fears that keep us from physical harm are another example. Some fears we actually teach to our children. For example a child who has always had good experiences with people and animals may not have a sense that some people or animals can be dangerous. We teach them stranger danger to keep them safe and not to play with strange animals.

From reading the Bible and from life experiences we know that all fear is not harmful, so what does 2 Timothy 1:7 mean exactly. This verse says “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

God has given us some forms of fear for our own survival but he has not given us a “spirit of fear.” God has designed our spirits to naturally repel us from spirit damaging fears. When my children were really little, one or two years old, they would naturally resist anything scary. Children generally hide their eyes or put a blanket over their head when they sense something that makes them fearful. However, when they got to the age of 3 or 4 I would go to hide their eyes and they would resist. They started to be interested to see what it was that mom didn’t want them to see. They reacted this way in spite of the fact that their spirit was telling them they should not be looking. At this point I realized that I had to start teaching them that they needed to resist fascination with scary things on their own. When they were exposed to something that was scary like commercials for shows aimed at kids involving witches, wizards, vampires, ghosts and other occult themes, I would say things like “that’s bad or that’s yucky, or Jesus doesn’t like that.” I made a big deal out of it so they would understand that it was not something acceptable. I would cover my eyes or change the channel to teach them to self-regulate what they allow themselves to see. I knew that as they grew up I could not be with them at all times and they would have to learn to choose to resist. I quickly noticed that they started mimicking what I was saying on their own and coming in to tell me when something “bad” was on TV so I could change the channel.

Unfortunately, as we grow up and are exposed to more worldly influences it becomes harder to continue to be sensitive to God’s spirit. Society teaches us that mature people don’t have a problem with exposing themselves to things that are scary and that we should not resist the “spirit of fear.” The less resistance we put up the less we feel the Holy Spirit telling us to stay away from these influences.

The “spirit of fear” comes in many forms such as exposure to violence, scary movies and paranormal activity. Television, movies and books today are filled with these themes and many movies and shows even glamorize the occult or make it seem fun and harmless. It gives kids a sense of power and it has become incredibly popular. The satanic spirit that promotes these things however is very real and very dangerous. My husband and I both personally choose to stay as far away from anything scary as we possibly can, and we daily teach our children to do so also. I do not like the feeling of being fearful and when I do see something scary I find myself dwelling on whatever scared me for awhile. Philippians 4:8 tells us “whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

What does the “spirit of fear” have to do with faith? Well, a lot actually. Satan has used fear for thousands of years as a stumbling block to faith. Dwelling on fear destroys our faith and has a way of distracting us from what God wants for us. Satan wants to distract us from doing God’s work and fear can be very powerful motivator. In a slight form it can do simple things like preventing us from being a bold witness for God; it can keep us busy worrying about how we are going to make ends meet or make us worry that others won’t accept us. In its worst form it can literally destroy a life or a family. God wants us to have faith in Him. We know we are saved by faith, but we also need to walk by faith. Faith gives us the freedom to follow God no matter how bleak things may look. It gives us the boldness to serve God without regard to how others may react. Pure faith will permeate everything we do, think and say and can teach those around us how to rely on God in their own lives.

J. Hudson Taylor was a well-known missionary to China in the 1800s. He has been called “The Father of Faith Missions” because at 19 years old he decided to rely fully on God’s provision keeping his needs a secret from others. In 1865 he founded the China Inland Mission which was based on the principal of asking God to provide for all needs instead of asking people. By 1905 there were 849 faith missionaries in China.

One life changing example of faith in Hudson’s life came when the doctor that Hudson worked for forgot to pay him. Hudson decided not to remind the doctor but to pray and ask God to remind him instead. Many days passed and he still had no paycheck. His rent was due and after paying his landlady on Saturday night he had only one silver coin left (it was worth about 1.00). After checking his cupboard, Hudson realized that he had enough food left to last him through Monday morning. The silver coin would be enough to pay for his lunch and dinner on Monday. He did not worry and kept praying that God would provide the money for the rest of the week. On Sunday afternoon he visited the homes of the poor people who lived around him telling them about God’s provision and about the gospel. At 10:00 p.m. as he was getting ready to go home he saw a sad and weary man approaching him. The man asked him to come to his home and pray for his wife who was very ill. Hudson agreed to go with the man and traveled through a very dangerous neighborhood where he feared he would be robbed of his last coin. The last time he had visited this neighborhood the people had torn up his tracts and told him to never return, but he kept on. When he reached the home he saw several ragged and barefoot children along with a very ill mother and a baby less than two days old. They were all very hungry and thin and needed food badly. Hudson told them about God’s provision and told them to trust in God for all their needs. He wanted to give them some money but only had the one coin left and was hesitant to do so. After praying for the family Hudson prepared to leave. The father asked Hudson to please help them if he could. God suddenly reminded Hudson of Matthew 5:42 “Give to him that asketh thee.” He pulled out the silver coin and gave it to the father telling him “it is not much but believe me it is all that I have.” Suddenly Hudson became the proof of his words that God would provide for them. The next morning as soon as Hudson had finished the last bit of food in the cupboard the postman arrived with a small package. The handwriting was unfamiliar and the postmark smudged. There was no note inside, just a pair of new gloves. As he pulled the gloves out of the package a shiny coin fell from inside one of the gloves. It was a gold coin worth four times as much as the one he had given away. This incident truly cemented the idea that J. Hudson Taylor could always rely on God to provide his needs and to guide his life. It was the beginning of a life of faith and service to God which brought over 125,000 Chinese people to Christ during his life-time.

During these difficult and often scary times I find myself relying more and more on God’s provision. While I am a long way from where I need to be in the faith department, I am grateful for these times when God uses struggles in my life to remind me that I must resist dwelling on fear and know that God will always be there. It is often in the times of greatest need we also experience the greatest grace that we will ever know.

Victoria McClelland is a homeschooling mother raising her family in Dallas, Texas. For more information, including contact information about having Victoria speak at an event, visit http://www.frontier2000.net or like us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup.

New Year’s Resolution: Childlike Faith

2012-01-10T09:38:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of every New Year, there is a sense of a fresh start. A new year creates a starting point to examine our lives and make things better in the future. For most of us the past few years have found themselves to be ever more challenging. The economy is poor, unemployment high, and crime and violence rampant. Watching the news is a depressing event and movies which have traditionally been an escape for many are increasingly feeding the fear frenzy. Doomsday is everywhere. For some that doomsday fear is in the form of something similar to the movie titled 2012 where massive earthquakes and giant fireballs hitting the earth begin the end of the world. For most of us however, the fears are much more individualized and basic such as will my job be phased out due to budget cuts or will my business survive the recession? Will my house be broken into, or my car or will someone close to me be a victim of violence? Will a terminally ill loved one live through the next 6 months?

This past year has been one of the most challenging of my life and the lives of almost everyone I know. In my direct family and circle of friends I know someone, if not several people, who have suffered all of the fears and most of the realities listed above. The real question is what do we do now. This new and uncertain future can be handled in a number of ways but, for this new year I am choosing to see this as an opportunity. January of 2012 brings an opportunity to make a New Year’s resolution of choosing a child-like faith.

I am a huge Christian music fan and I often have our local Christian station playing in our home. If I neglect to turn it on my 3 year old son takes the liberty of turning on the “musgic” as he calls it. Last year one of my favorite songs was “Strong Enough” by Matthew West. I made a conscious effort to sing the lyrics to this song, whenever I was feeling overwhelmed, and it would remind me that we are never really strong enough to handle the hardships of this life, but God always is. He has offered to carry our burdens for us and yet we so often choose to try to carry them for ourselves. We need to let go and let God do His work. We must know that God’s way is always best and His means are always sufficient. This is where child-like faith comes in and the adult-like faith goes out the window.

Right now some of you are asking “What is the definition of Adult-like faith?” Is that even a real term? While I think I just made up that expression, I would define adult-like faith as the kind of faith where we ask God for something and then proceed to plan when, how and where God will perform the next miracle in our lives. We so often use the expression “God helps those who help themselves” and expect God to bless our plans and our ways. While I do believe that God wants us to be proactive in our lives and do many things for ourselves, I also believe that we can limit ourselves and our relationship with God through the belief that we can, should and must affect every outcome. Often times we don’t learn to fully rely on God’s provision until we have no other choice. When every effort has failed and we find ourselves losing ground we finally breakdown and say “Help, I can’t do this on my own.”

Child-like faith is totally different. I have often thought of myself as a person of faith, but I must admit that when my daughter got to the age that she started to understand the things of God she quickly taught me that I actually had very little faith in comparison to hers. The Bible speaks a great deal about the faith of a child. Mark 10:13-16 and Luke 18:17 bear out that a child-like faith and trust is to be the example for all of us to follow. What exactly is child-like faith? I personally would define it as “Truly believing and trusting that God can and will fulfill our petitions with no worry or concern as to how God will fulfill them.”

I have been blessed to witness several examples of child-like faith and how God answered those prayers that seemed impossible. When my brother, Israel was very young he asked my parents for a puppy for Christmas. My parents quickly told him that we already had several German Shepherds and could not get another dog. Israel simply responded “That’s Ok, I will just ask Jesus for one.” Within a couple of weeks a small stray dog showed up outside our house and quickly won over my parents who agreed to let us keep him.

A second example occurred when my daughter Fascia was only 4 years old and she started asking us for a little sister. My husband Jeremy and I thought that Fascia would most likely be an only child. Fascia, however, had other plans. She first started out by making her case. She told us that she was the only child that she knew who did not have a brother or sister and that she was very lonely. She appealed to our hearts and as much as we wanted her to be happy, my husband and I were not in agreement to go forward and have a second child. After several months of asking with no progress she simply replied “That’s Ok, I will ask Jesus for a baby sister.” I should have known that I was in trouble at that point but I told her “That’s a good idea but Jesus might not give you a sister.” Fascia could not be deterred about the prayers, however, and three years later Jesus gave her a little brother named Josiah for a late birthday present. She has always loved and cherished him and respected Jesus’s decision to give her a brother instead of a sister.

On another occasion, when Fascia was about 7 years old she was taking horseback riding lessons. One day she came and asked me if we could buy a horse. I have always loved horses myself but I told her, “I am sorry sweetie, but there is no way we can buy a horse. It just isn’t possible.” Immediately she replied “That’s Ok, I will ask Jesus for one.” Once again I told her that asking Jesus was a good idea but that I just didn’t see how it was possible. I didn’t tell anyone about the conversation with Fascia and she only shared her desire with Jesus. Less than a week later my father-in-law came to me and said “Don’t tell Fascia but we have decided to buy her a horse.” They had purchased a home that had corrals and a barn and wanted to get Fascia a horse to ride. I was stunned at the news and told him that she had been praying for a horse so it was an answer to prayer.

After 10 years and many experiences I finally wised up to the fact that Fascia’s faith has given her a direct hotline to God’s ears. When she asks about a desire of her heart that doesn’t seem possible I often find myself telling her that Jesus can do anything and if it is really important to her that she should ask Him to work it out. He doesn’t always say yes to our requests because it is not always in His will, but He always has the ability to say yes. Children seem to get this concept much better than adults. They don’t try to work out the details; they just accept that God is all powerful, all perfect and that nothing is impossible for God.

Philippians 4: 6-7 NIV states “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 KJV reads “But my God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” These scriptures are words to live by, and in 2012 I will do my best to practice child-like faith and pray that God will continue to be “Strong enough for the both of us.”

Introductions

2012-01-03T09:17:00.000-08:00

When I was asked to begin writing a weekly blog I soon had a myriad of ideas swirling through my head. After pondering several of them and not being able to make a decision as to which to write first, I asked my daughter what she thought the first subject should be. My very practical young lady simply said “just introduce yourself.” That sounded like a logical and simple idea to me so here goes.

Hi, my name is Victoria and I am a 35 year old wife and mother. I just celebrated 15 years of marriage to my sweet and handsome husband Jeremy whom I have been blessed to share my life with. The words I had engraved on the inside of his wedding ring 15 years ago “To Jeremy, my one true love,” have never been truer than they are today. We have been blessed with a beautiful and athletic ten year old daughter named Fascia and a handsome and humorous three year old son named Josiah.

I am a second generation homeschooling mom which at this point in my life seems to be a bit rare. I was blessed to be homeschooled by my mother back in the day when most people we met had never heard of homeschooling. In fact, when I was a child and strangers would ask the popular question “what school do you go to” we would respond “I go to a private school.” This was absolutely a true statement because we studied at home through a correspondence school in Baltimore. The term homeschooled had not really been coined yet and if you told people you went to school at home they just assumed that you were actually truant. It was much easier to say “private school.” Nowadays, however, nearly everyone has heard of or personally knows someone who is homeschooling. Since we live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area where the homeschool community is very prevalent the concept is not foreign any longer.

As all mothers do, I wear many hats in my family. I have been a volleyball mom for the past three years, and this spring I will add T-ball mom to the list. I am also affectionately known from time to time as the Laundry Fairy or the Dish Fairy because anything left out by other family members magically gets cleaned and put away. In addition, I am currently mom to three furry family members, two 13 year old Chihuahuas and one 10 year old Poodle mix. All of the factors which make up my life create a very full schedule, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

When I was pregnant with Fascia many years ago, I thought a lot about what it would be like to be a parent. I thought about all the many things I could teach my children and how special I could make their lives. Now over ten years have passed and I have two children. I often marvel at all the lessons that they teach me every day and how special they make my life. I plan to share some of those sweet and wonderful lessons and stories with you in my future blogs and I hope you come along for the ride. See you soon!

For more information, including contact information to invite Victoria to speak at a homeschooling event in your area, visit http://www.frontier2000.net/, or like us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/frontier2000mediagroup.